50 Shades of Bliss
by 50SoG15
Summary: Ana and Christians marriage have seen some bumps and detours but this one problem they might not be able to resolve.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

It has been just over a week since the Hyde incident and the atmosphere between me and Christian has changed, he has become distant and cold, back to CEO mode. I wonder briefly if it has anything to do with the past few weeks, I can tell his holding back his true feelings about our child, his childhood and Hyde but after my revelation of not becoming a 'nagging wife' I decide that he will tell me in his own time.

Christian is held up in his study, brooding I suspect. He has not eaten dinner with me since the last time we were in the playroom and even then I knew something was occupying his mind. He has become somewhat callous towards me but I have no idea why, was it the information given by Carrick and Grace finally sinking in, our child or the Hyde incident. Christian said that he couldn't bear to touch me after seeing the bruises and marks left by Hyde, is he buying time until they fade? I know he saw them while in the playroom but i never thought they would hurt him like this.

Although regardless of how he is feeling, I'm starting to feel alone, I can only compare feeling this way when Christian walked out on me when I told him I was pregnant. I'm starting to think maybe he does not love me and just trying to do the right thing. I can barely take any more of his sulking and I've got my little blip to think about now. He has distanced himself from me in this ivory tower and I just can't articulate how mercurial that was. Surely he should not be taking this out on me when I have done nothing wrong, I don't recall crossing any arbitrary line. When I was in hospital he was so sincere and compassionate but that has quickly changed. My feelings are shot, my mind is heavy with the fog and clutter of fifties and my own issues. Surely he cannot carry this out much longer. In that moment i set out to find him hoping we could work whatever this is out, I just can't stand anymore of this petulant nonsense.

I locate him in his study, he is standing in front of his window staring at the grey clouds floating into the night sky. I notice that he is on his phone as I stand on the threshold of his study. I focus in on his conversation "Ros, how's the situation on Lincoln Timber...And the board...

...What about our current shares...

Good they've been liquidated...

...And Linc? ….Good...No that's fine he can pick up the pieces of whatever he has left...Yes...Good Night."

As he turns around he notices me, takes a sip of his overly filled glass of brandy and sits on the edge of his desk, never taking his eyes off me

"Anastasia"

My scalp prickles at his cold greeting "Hi" I whisper softly.

He is obviously not to be argued with at this moment. I notice his eyes widen, grey eyes storming.

"What do you need?" Oh shit! Something is definitely off with him, his demeanour is not one of a caring husband. The time ticks by as I am momentarily thrown by him

"Are you coming to bed?"

"No, Later" he states as a matter of fact

Oh jeez, the energy in the room is tight and tensed and quite frankly it intimidates me.

"Okay" I murmur and turn slowly exiting his study.

I stalk towards the library suddenly overwhelmed and hurt, how can he be so... Closed off. I've only ever seen him this angry on few occasions and if I'm being honest to myself moments like this make me want to run for hills and never look back. I knew marrying him that my life would be forever challenging but his mood swings are taking their toll and my hurt feelings are slowly becoming larger than my love for him. Fifty shades, remember? My subconscious chimes in as I shake my head at her unneeded quip, rubbing salt in the wound i think to myself. If we could only have a normal week, without interruptions or arguments. Shaking my head again I decide that the comfort of a book is needed and settle on Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, oh how fitting I think briefly to myself. I curl up in the armchair in my green camisole I bought in Georgia and sweatpants, forgetting about the troubles and obstacles that await me tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

I awake to the sound of hard rain tapping against the window and I'm confused momentarily to where I am. Gathering my wits I realise that I'm in my bedroom minus my husband. I glance over at the alarm, six thirty... Eugh too early. I lie in bed staring into the eyes of the storm that has fallen over Seattle and with the reassuring sound and smell of the rain I fall back into a deep sleep until I am woken by the closing of the bedroom door. As I look at the alarm clock once again it reads eight forty-two. I jump out of the bed in a sprint for the shower and within five minutes I am showered and dressed ready for work. In a white blouse, my best jeans and black flats I quickly apply a little eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss in a vain attempt to make myself look more upbeat, fixing my untamed hair into a ponytail I'm slightly thankful for dress down Fridays as I feel anything but dressing up.

I dash to the breakfast bar to my awaiting tea and granola courtesy of Mrs. Jones

"Christian?" I ask

"Mr. Grey just left" she replies but I cannot help the stab of disappointment roll across my face.

I smile weakly back at her while drinking my tea, As I step off the stool grabbing my packed lunch disregarding that I have not eaten the granola I walk towards the door.

"Mr. Grey said to make sure you ate all of your breakfast, remember it's not just you anymore"

And before I could put in place some sort of filter

"Well Mr. Grey is not here"

I murmur acidly back but soon realise my tone

"Sorry about my remark Mrs. Jones, I am late for work and have a lot of correspondence to get through today." I say as remorseful as possible

"It's okay Ana, have a good day at work"

And with that I'm off and urging Sawyer to rush through traffic.

I arrive at sip at nine-twenty exactly, the morning traffic was chaotic to say the least. As I sit at my desk starting up my computer I notice an email from Christian.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Business Trip

Date: October 11, 2013 09:04

To: Anastasia Grey

Anastasia

I have an urgent business matter to attend to in New York, I will be taking the company jet and flying out today. I will be back tomorrow evening.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

Oh jeez, he's even cold through email, give me strength fifty.

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Business Trip

Date: October 11, 2013 09:23

To: Christian Grey

Okay,

Fly safe.

Your Ana

Anastasia Grey

Commissioning Editor, SIP

I can't really say anything to that, Christian doesn't want to talk and I respect that, He has a lot on his mind but my patience is wearing thin. I am tired of always being left in the dark, I think I've proven that I am in fact not weak. He needs to realise I'm not his mother, I am a grown women not a child. I don't need protection, I need my husband to confide in me. As much as I'd like to sit here and rationalise my husband's recent behaviour, I have far too much work to get through.

By four o'clock I've barley finished half of my work, All day I have been summarising manuscripts, corresponding with leading authors and reaching out to authors I would like to publish. It's been so exhausting that I had to skip lunch, I've lost my appetite with everything that's been on my plate but I know I have to force myself for blip. With that in mind I decide to grab my lunch from the staff kitchen vaguely remembering the last time Hyde and I were there alone, although that is soon forgotten as I am brought up on more office gossip which then turns into Elizabeth and Hyde's relationship. I can't stand the conversation for long as the thought makes me ill, I hurry back to my office sighing with relief. After lunch I continue my work hoping that I've made some progress before home time, although progress, not much has been made. My mind is somewhere else today overthinking and overanalysing, it's not only occupied with fifty but also Hyde. Over the past few weeks I have relived those moments over and over again I suspect that Christian doesn't know as he has his own distractions and because of that, having no one to talk it through with has begun to weigh heavily on my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

On the drive home decide to call my mum, I've missed her voice and haven't spoken to her since coming home from the hospital. She sounds glad to hear from me and that makes me feel loved

"How are you feeling sweetie?"

"Oh mum, I'm feeling better, much better. How are you?"

I reply softly as I begin to form a lump in my throat

"I'm good honey, I and Bob were just talking about the big move"

Oh yes, the move back to Las Vegas, how I could I forget. We talk for a few minutes more about the new house and how she would love for me to visit her once they've settled In, although I doubt I will be let out of Seattle I agree, It would be good to be with my mum for a few days. She's always able to take my mind off things.

"Love you mum" I murmur holding back tears

"I love you too Sweetie"

And with that I hang up.

We pull up outside Escala and when I get out, I quickly run for shelter. The rain has been consistent all day and reflects how I've been feeling. I am greeted by Ryan In the lobby as Sawyer parks the car. As we enter the elevator we stand in awkward silence the entire time, briefly making eye contact. Finally the elevator comes to a halt and It Is unfamiliar not having Taylor greet me. I wander into the great room, dropping my briefcase almost in a protest. Finally I am home. Mrs. Jones Is In the kitchen fixing up dinner and to think that this is what Christian had come home to for all those years, an empty, secluded art gallery. Me and Mrs. Jones speak about the upcoming weeks menu's and Christians short notice business trip. She serves dinner then in a flash she is gone, leaving me all by myself in the great room. Alone again my subconscious whispers. As I finish my meal barley able to eat I fish out my blackberry in hopes that there will be a message from Christian... nothing.

I'll send him a text

*Hope you arrived safely - A*

I wait and wait but nothing, Christians responses are usual simultaneous. A feeling of dread washes over me as I recall the Charlie tango sabotage, I shiver and blanche at the thought. I try calling him but no answer, I leave him a voicemail

"Hi, I hope you landed safely... Let me know, I'll worry.. Okay um bye."

My heart race begins to quicken as this is so unfifty, I need a glass of wine to cool my nerves. Mrs Jones re-enters the great room and I jump at her presence

"Ana are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you" I murmur as I plaster on a fake smile and head to Taylor's office. Ryan and Sawyer are sitting watching the monitors, filling out paper work and I feel Irritated having to ask them this but I need to know,

"Excuse me Luke, do you know if Taylor and Christian landed In New York yet?"

He looks at me quizzically and puzzled as he probably thinks I know the answer.

"Yes, Mrs Grey they arrived early this afternoon" he replies

Well then, obviously my husband does not want to communicate with me and continue to sulk like an adolescence. I am furious and hurt. I just don't understand what I've done and what I'm being punished for. "Thank you, Luke" I whisper barley keeping the anguish out of my voice

"Is that all Mam?"

I nod and walk out into the foyer.

A few hours later after my bath, I am still fuming with anger. I walk into my study to check my blackberrie in hopes that Christian has replied and apologised but again, nothing. He has taken a toll on me these past few days, he's never home and when he is he's always in his study. We've barley spoken in four days, I mean surely this is not normal. I'm confused, hurt and emotionally worn out, I have no Idea what to do. If he doesn't love me anymore then I don't need to be here, although it would kill me to leave him again if he wants that then I'll respect his wishes and leave. I wish we could just work this out like a normal couple but then that's easily said than done, I don't want to leave him but ultimately it might have to be done. I shake my head as tears fall down my cheeks. I just need reassurance that he still loves and cares about me, is that such a selfish request. I am overcome with the thought that I've lost my husband but suddenly that turns. I grab my blackberrie and type out an email

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Your Issues

Date: October 11, 2011 23:45

To: Christian Grey

Christian

I've tried messaging, calling and now emailing you but since you haven't had or made time to reply to your concerned wife I doubt this email would get very far as I'm sure you have more pressing matters.

I am wounded by your treatment towards me these past few days, I've tried to let you simmer down but yet I am rewarded with the cold shoulder. I've tried to rationalise your actions to having a lot to deal with lately but I'm confused as to how you were a gentle and caring husband only last week yet callous, cold and intimating these past few days. I can honestly say I have no Idea whatsoever as to why you have changed your attitude towards me, do you not love me anymore? If that's the case Christian, please do not feel obligated to stay married to me.

Regardless what you Issue Is, you need to let me in. I DO NOT appreciate being left in the dark constantly. I am your wife and the mother of your unborn child, I will not put up with your treatment much longer.

Anastasia Grey.

"There, I hope that gives him something to think about" but as I say that I feel the tension tighten in my muscle and throughout my body. I know for a fact that I'm In for a fight but he cannot lock me out any further, It Is holding me down and quite frankly It Is one Issue that I do not need In my life right now. I sit at my desk in the study hoping to get some work done and out of the way, I hear a *ping* from my email as all blood rushes from head. It's from fifty.

Do I dare open it, do I want to see what he has said, maybe he will leave me or maybe he agrees. Either way I gather my wits and emotionally guard myself for what's to come. I open the email with resistance

From: Christian Grey

Subject: My Issues

Date: October 12, 2011 00:15

To: Anastasia Grey

Anastasia

I am sorry I could not contact you sooner as I've said I had to fly out to New York on an urgent business matter, I have been In meetings since I landed this afternoon and have had no time to check my blackberrie.

I don't see why this matter could not wait until I got home but yet so urgent you have sent it to me as soon as I left Washington State. Ana, you are correct - I have had a lot of pressing Issues on my plate recently, matters that were brought on all at once. They are only beginning to sink In as I'm slowly realising the magnitude of the situation we find ourselves in. Yes I've been distant as I am trying to sort through this new Information although I had no Intentions of coming off as "callous, cold and intimidating." I need time and patience to reassemble my thoughts and feelings, I've asked this from you before and now I am asking again.

We will talk when I get home this evening.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

Oh my, I gasp at his email, not once did he mention that he still loved me. My stomach starts turning, my mind racing. This Is It, he doesn't love me anymore. The tears run down my sensitised skin as I'm trying to come to terms that possibly my marriage has ended. I place my head in my hands trying to understand the vast ray of feelings that are now running through my mind. I do not know what to do but I should just leave. Yes! That's what I need to do. I need to get out of this apartment, I need space and distances to think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I am overcome and overwhelmed as I stand in the bedroom looking at my bag full of packed clothes. I am ready to leave, I need to, I cannot think rationally here. Maybe it will be better for him too, we both have a lot on our plate to deal with. Although I cannot help feel a pang of guilt that I am leaving him when he is off on business In New York. Maybe I should leave a letter, although I am quite sure that Ryan or Sawyer will let him know. I am sad to think of the last time I was 'leaving him'- at the bank during the Hyde Incident. I still can hear the hurt, wounded man on the other line but I know that I have no Intentions on making this Indefinite, just only until I rearrange my thoughts, feelings and bring balance back to myself. I rip a piece of paper from my notebook and decide that I will sneak out tonight sometime. I scribble my note out and with tears falling down my face:

 _\- Christian_

 _I have gone to Kate's for a couple of days, I need distance. By doing this I'm giving you time and patience to sort through your Issues. I will also be doing this in my time away, so please respect my wishes as I want us to work. For yours, mine and blips sake._

 _Your_

 _Ana x_

I place it on his pillowcase and sit and wait at the end of the bed waiting until I can leave. I've ordered a cab to pick me up at twelve-fifty and to notify me when their outside. I sit, nervously counting the seconds. I told Christian no more rash judgments but I've been feeling so emotionally distraught and feel that this is such a situation where I need to leave and gain distance between us. I wish I could visit my mother but I know that would give fifty a coronary. I glance at the alarm clock twelve-forty five, my heart beats faster at every minute passing. I've planned my exit perfectly, around twelve-forty when Sawyer leaves Ryan accompanies him down Into the garage and secures the area which gives me a ten minute time frame without any Interruptions oh jeez It feels like I'm sneaking out of my parents' house. But as I think that my phone buzzes, the cab is outside and I've only got five minutes left before Ryan returns in the service elevator. I dash for the door with my rucksack In hand leaving my blackberrie on the bed. I run into the foyer impatiently pressing the call button, when finally the elevator pings at its halt. I jump in and press ground level, making an easy departure.

When In the lobby, I walk casually towards the revolving doors not wanting to cause suspicion to find my cab waiting for me by the curb. I jump in, adrenaline coursing through my veins

"Where to mam" The driver mutters while looking into the rear-view mirror

"Little pike market" I murmur back breaking eye contact, I sit back and sigh- I hope this is the right thing to do. I can't help but cry, I love him too much to let him slip through my fingers and I hope that this will only strengthen us. But before I know It I am dragged from my thoughts, I am outside my old apartment and It's strangely unfamiliar. I dash my tears away with the back of my hand as I pay the driver and exit the cab. Walking towards the Intercom system I press for apartment two, awaiting Kate to answer. On the sixth ring she picks up

"...Yes" she murmurs, tired

"Kate, it's me" I whisper

"Ana?... What the hell its one o'clock"

She's sobered by my presence

"Kate, let me In" I mutter, "its cold outside" and with that I hear the click of the door and I make my way up.

I am greeted by Kate with a big hug and kiss on the cheek, she knows instantly something is wrong. As I walk In I see Elliot In the kitchen, fuck why did I not think he'd be here. The silence grows between us all until Kate starts with the Kavaughn Inquisition

"Ana...What's wrong, Why are you here... Where's Christian?"

Oh jeez If Elliot wasn't here I'd be comfortable talking but I decide to lie

"Christian's on a business trip In New York, I was lonely at Escala. Hi Elliot"

I smile reassuringly at them both. Elliot Is satisfied but I suspect Kate knows better.

"Hey Ana"

Elliot beams back as he reaches in for a hug

"Does Christian know you're here?" Oh shit,

"No, but I've left him a message" I murmur trying to sound as casual as possible and It seems to work as Elliot nods, walking back In the bedroom. As we hear the door click shut Kate zooms in on me

"What the hell is wrong Steele? If he hurt you I swear-" I cut her off mid-sentence

"No, well yes... Not physically. I just needed to get away from the apartment for a few days, Is It okay if I stay here a few nights?" I mutter although this is not stopping Kate.

"Of course Ana, I'll grab some wine and you can tell me what happened, is red okay?" Oh my, she doesn't know I'm pregnant. She will definitely know something Is off If I refuse. I quickly recover my equilibrium.

"Uh...Actually, I'd prefer some tea" I respond with a shy smile as Kate looks at me puzzled.

It is extremely strange being back here, the last time I was here I had Leila with a gun at my head. I shiver at the thought and quickly join Kate at the Kitchen Island. She hands me my tea and I silently sit sipping, may hands clasped around the warm mug.

"What happened Ana? Please you're starting to worry me"

Kate softly murmurs as If talking to a wounded animal. I place down my tea and stare at my knotted fingers unsure as to where to start.

"Well...Where do I start?"..."The past few weeks have been difficult Kate"

I stop- as the tears start to flow from my eyes. Kate reaches across and grabs my hands giving them both a reassuring squeeze.

"Christian was so...so gentle, kind, caring and compassionate for the past two weeks"..."But...Lately he's become distant, cold and mean towards me...I don't know why he's punishing me"..."He has a lot on his plate right now"

I pause to wipe my eyes and control my strangled sobs.

"I just needed to get away for a few days, I couldn't bear being there anymore... I felt I was alone in the world."

And suddenly the awaiting damn burst opens as there are tears running down my face. I hold back my sobs in an effort to proceed.

"I don't think he loves me anymore Kate, I...I...I don't know what I would do If I lost him...But he's not been there for me these past few days...I needed reassurance that he still loves me but he just kinda blew me off"..."It's beginning to bring all my Issues to shore, with Hyde and..."

I bite my tongue before I say anything else

"...stuff" I add quietly not wanting to go further in detail.

"Jeez"

Kate murmurs simply, I'm sure she is thrown aback by this Information, perhaps even speechless.

"Ana...I'm more then sure that he still loves you, I mean he's completely smitten with you...Always has been."

Kate mutters, but her words mean nothing, I need to hear this from my husband.

"I know that he cares but I'm not so sure I agree that he loves me Kate"... "I just need space. I'm sure if I had to stay in that apartment on my own one more day I'd go out of my mind."..."I still love him very much and want us to work"

Jeez why do I feel kind of guilty venting to my best friend

"I don't mean to burden"

I add quickly in an attempt to lighten the mood

"Don't be silly, you know you're more than welcome. You can sleep in your old room"

And with that I change the subject, wanting to get off the topic at hand. Me and Kate talk for a short time more, she tells me about planning the wedding, the colour scheme and how she's already found the perfect bridesmaid dress. Little does she know I'll be heavily pregnant by the time she plans to walk down the aisle, we talk for a few more minutes until we agree to retire for bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I'm standing in the foyer at Escala, screaming out for Christian but he doesn't answer me. The house is abandoned, the usual vase of flowers gone along with the Madonna paintings, all that is left is the wooden table. I try to run towards the doors in hope to find Christian but my legs feel heavy, The doors get further away the closer I get. I feel my legs give out as I fall onto the dusty wooden floors, my head bouncing off the once polished wood making a sicken thud.

I jump awake in a sweat, heart beating, head spinning as the surroundings around me become familiar - Oh yes, my old room. It's odd not waking up to Christian beside me but it's a feeling I've fast adapted to over the past few days. I jump out of bed rather slowly, I gather my clothes and shower, the soothing hot water cascades over my muscles temporarily relaxing them. I've packed a dressed down wardrobe jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts and my converse I cannot be bothered to dress up as I plan on staying in. After my shower I set off to the kitchen, Kate is still asleep so I'll make myself useful and prepare breakfast. I grab the eggs and bacon out of the fridge - I am soon whisking and placing the bacon under the grill I feel I am in my element. I decide some music is needed, I grab my IPod out of my purse and stick the head phones in my ears, turning the music up - blasting.

As I am plating up, Kate stumbles out of her room - even though she has just woken up she looks better than I do. We sit together eating, engaging in small talk - nothing to heavy as I think she is still speechless from last night.

"Where is Elliot? "I murmur, genuinely intrigued

"He left early this morning...He's working on your and Christians house today"

The atmosphere changes between us from light to serious. I can't say anything to that so I smile and continue eating. By the time we've finished our food and I washed up, it's only eleven-fifteen - Kate said she had to go out for a family brunch later to discuss her wedding with her parents as of course, they're paying. I planned on doing some work anyways although with all that's on my mind I highly doubt any work will be done. By the time I finish reading and making notes on some manuscripts I'm championing it is two-thirty, Kate had gone for her brunch and came back not wanting to leave me for long. Jeez like a child my subconscious sneers, although she might be right her input is not wanted nor needed. I'm thrown off as I hear Kate screaming loudly from my old bedroom, my curiosity is peaked as I go looking for her to see what's wrong. As I tiptoe through the living room and overhear Kate on her phone... It's Christian.

Kate is on the phone to my husband and I have a small feeling that this is going to end badly. Kate raises her voice, completely oblivious to my presence.

"Yes she is here...She is fine with me" oh no Kate's getting frustrated, I can see the tension in her stance.

"Well maybe if you looked after her, she wouldn't be here with me"... "No Grey, Do not come here. She doesn't want to see you right now"..."SHE. DOESN'T. WANT. TO. SEE. YOU" she shouts making me jump out of my skin and I want to retreat like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs. She turns around and notices me, holds her hand up to the phone

"It's Christian, Ana. He wants to talk to you"

I sigh heavily another day another drama, I asked him for distance and he disregarded that. I stamp over to Kate, boiling and furious. I grab the phone from her and very calmly I speak into the phone

"Hello Christian"

"Ana, what the fuck are you doing?"

He's angry? How can he be angry with me?

He continues his onslaught

"I told you we'll talk when I get home only to find that you leave through the night, unprotected I might add, and all you do is leave me a fucking Dear John letter? WHAT THE FUCK"

He's shouting extremely loud into the phone- but all it is doing is adding fuel to the fire.

"I've told you everything that needs to be said in the letter, Christian"..."I'm giving you time and patience" I add, I am not backing down in this conversation.

"Look...Ana, I'm sorry. Please come home- We'll talk. We can sort through our issues in private"

He murmurs back and I hear his remorse but I can't go back there right now, he hasn't given me any time to think through what I want to say to him.

"Christian, I'll be home tomorrow evening. We can talk then but I just need an extra day... I have so many feelings that have been building up over the past few days" I begin to choke up as I recall these emotions.

"You're leaving me?" He whispers with a dash of panic

"Of course not Christian. I told you I would never leave" I mutter quite astonished

"But you did, I love you and need you. Come home"..."I don't want Kate and Elliot hearing about our issues"..."Come. Home" and when he says this it is a command. Pure anger fills my body I didn't commit to obey him.

"No Christian, I will see you tomorrow good-" he cuts me off mid-sentence

"Ana, either you come home willingly or I'll come and get you myself" holy shit, how can he say that? Doesn't he see how controlling he's being? It's fair to say that my subconscious is stunned, gaping. I cannot help but gasp at his remarks.

"CHRISTIAN, please. Give me one day. Whether you like it or not I am going to stay, you are being too controlling."

I shout loudly into the phone, I am not in the mood to be having this conversation with my petulant husband.

"Fuck-" he shouts but then sighs "Ana, get your fucking belongings together I am on my fucking way. I expect you to be waiting in the fucking lobby when I get there" he whispers softly and I know only too well that he too is furious. Before I say anything else the line goes dead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

The dial tone echo's through the phone and the only thing I can think is 'What the fuck?' I try to wrap my head around me and my petulant husbands shouting competition. Christian's coming here? Why? I'm giving him time and patience, I just can't stay at Escala twiddling my thumbs waiting for him to open up. I stand there in my old room trying to recover my equilibrium but I'm quickly brought from my thoughts by Kate

"Ana, Are you okay?" She mutters while walking towards embracing me in a hug, she's never seen me like this before I'm sure she's taken back.

"Christian's coming to pick me up" I murmur burning with anger as I release her

"Can you give me a moment?" I ask and with that she hesitantly exits the room

I sit on the end of the bed staring blankly at the pale white wall in front of me, I try assemble my thoughts, my feelings of Christian's outburst. How can he talk to me like that? I'm not Leila, Suzie or the other thirteen I'm his wife, 'his pregnant wife' my subconscious adds although her quip is not wanted, it's true I am carrying the flesh of his flesh. I throw my hands over my face scrambled in the situation I find myself in, did I expect anything less when marrying Christian? He's openly said that he's fifty shades of fucked up and I guess on some level I knew our marriage would be challenging. Although I'm not ready to go home, I now want to. I want to talk through this, it's weighed on my mind heavily and I want this resolved so we can move on for Blips sake.

I begin to gather my things, packing my luggage and when that's done I stand in the middle of my old room, very uncomfortable as this apartment still is not familiar to me. My eyes focus on the bed as I reflect on the memories associated with it both good and bad, We've worked through so many issues already, overcome so many obstacles but just when everything seems great that all seems to come crashing down… one step forward and two steps back I guess. I gather my luggage to exit the room, my hand grazes against the iron frame I take one look then proceed into the kitchen.

I'm greeted by Kate, seated at the kitchen island with a coffee in hand. I sit next to her in uncomfortable silence, I'm sure she's still taken aback. I attempt to engage her in light conversation but as she loosens up in my presence I am met with a bombardment of questions, great the Kavanagh inquisition that's all I need.

"Ana, you don't have to go with him, you're more than welcome-"she murmurs before I cut her off

"It's fine Kate, Really….. I need to go" I reply as truthfully as possible

Thankfully she eases off as her attention turns to office gossip. While we sit chatting it seems so natural, like old times, the conversation is warm and light hearted with our beverages in hand I briefly think of how little I get to see her.

"How's Ray?" she asks interrupting my reverie

"He's doing really well" I reply while making a mental note to visit him on Monday, I've missed him but ever since the Hyde incident he's wanted me to 'relax'.

We hear a knock at the door as I gather my things, once again. I exchange hugs and kisses with Kate as I prepare myself for my adolescent husband's potential outburst. I stand there, take a deep breath and swing the door open only to find Taylor.

"Mrs Grey" he murmurs with a nod

I take a moment to sigh with relief I've put off the inevitable for a few minutes more. We exchange pleasantries and begin to walk towards the car, when walking down the staircase a mixture of anticipation and anxiety bloom in the depths of my stomach as I think of the awaiting reaction from fifty. We walk into the lobby only to find the Audi parked in front of my old apartment building with Christian leaning against the car, awkwardly typing on his blackberrie. I notice that his body is tense, his free hand running through his hair- he's nervous and agitated, not a good sign. As Taylor opens the door he looks up at me, pinning me with bold grey eyes but does not make a move toward us as he just stands there, his body more angular and tall this is dominant Christian. I don't back down as I walk towards him shoving him out of my way, I demand to be seen as his wife, his equal.

A few moments later, I am in the car alone as I notice Christian speaking to Taylor I try to make out what is being said but all I hear is muffled voices. As they both jump into the car I see Taylor putting headphones into his ear, this cannot be good I'm sure I'm about to get chewed out by fifty. The distance between us is compelling as he sits there staring out the window in usual brooding fashion and after a while he looks at me searching my eyes looking for answers I suspect. I make my move towards him- offence is the best line of defence I think briefly to myself

"Don't" he commands his eye's widening, although this does not discourage me I move closer

"Anastasia" he warns "Don't" he repeats accentuating the word, fifty's grey eyes are storming, and his lips set in a grim thin line, a look that stops me in my tracks.

I sit there staring at him in an attempt to gauge his reaction, both of us looking at each other completely deadpan, he wants me to submit but I don't back down. He finally succumbs as he looks away, shaking his head

"Topping from the bottom yet again, Mrs Grey" He mutters under his breath as he continues to blankly stare out the car window.

I suspect Christian wants to talk but his demeanour says something different as his jaw tightens up and brows furrow. His reaction surprisingly does not affect me. His sardonic quip, everything from the past week, all of these feelings of anxiety and hurt just seem to dissipate as an overwhelming sensation of numbness sweeps through my body.

As we pull up outside the ivory tower I now know that this is going to be a long night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, sorry for the late update I've been very busy lately just bear with me and I'll try to update as often as possible x**

 **Chapter Seven**

As we stand in the elevator silently, the atmosphere around us crackling, the tension between us building. I peer at him through my lashes trying to measure his current mood, as soon as I see his face I know too well that at this point he's seething as he does not make any move to look back at me.

As the elevator comes to a stop the doors open achingly slow do I want to have this argument? I ask myself 'well it's now or never' my subconscious daftly murmurs. We head into the kitchen as I stand awkwardly at the breakfast bar I sense Christian once again ignoring the matter at hand. He pours himself an overly filled glass of Armagnac while standing looking at me, he begins to stalk towards me- grey eyes, shinning bright. Perhaps he changed his attitude? My subconscious whispers. In seconds he is in front of me staring down into my eyes, His hand moves slowly brushing his knuckles gently against my face Oh my, I've missed this. I move into his hand feeling the warmth against my cheeks. He leans down and kisses my neck, biting my ear as arousal spikes through my body but we need to talk first. We need to talk. As the electricity crackles between us my fifty begins to kiss me, leaning in I deepen it. I've missed this connection with my husband but if we don't communicate then nothing will be resolved. I move back allowing us to steady our breathing.

"Do you want to talk about this, Christian?" I ask breathless, hoping this will get him talking

"Let's not talk, I want to take you to bed" He replies, like a lion claiming his prey

He begins to move in for kill, I hold my hands up to surrender as he stills

"We need to talk. Please Christian" I murmur back after a brief pause he sighs and runs his hands through his unruly hair.

"Where should we start Anastasia, Would you like to talk about me 'shutting you out' or you leaving me?" He mutters back with an underlying cynical tone.

His reply is so cold and distanced what happened to my love struck husband a few moments ago? Mercurial as ever Mr. Grey

"Christian..." I pull my head into my hands, why is he making it so difficult? I take a few deep breathes in an attempt to calm down

We stand there in silence for a few moments, both of us tense.

"Do you still love me?" I ask him, my heart begins beat rapidly like it's going to jump out of my chest. This is it.

"What makes you think that I don't?"

"You never said, when I asked you. You never said you loved me" I whisper nervously awaiting his response.

"For fuck sake Ana, of course I still love you" he mutters with a tang of exasperation in his voice…"Look…I'm not use to justifying my actions you know this, I'm just trying to understand what's been going on. My sister was kidnaped, my wife beaten by a psychopath and to top it all off I'm going to be a father. You have to excuse me if my I've been preoccupied lately. I'm just trying to process through all of this." He states a matter of fact

I stand there staring at my knotted fingers trying to recover my equilibrium, He's opening up.

"I just want you to be able to talk to me. I'm your wife Christian, Not your sub"  
As I say this tears trickle down my face, no longer am I numb to the situation but overcome with my need for this man

"I… Can't let you slip through my fingers I need you, I love you… Blip too" I murmur clasping my hands around my slightly swollen belly.

He leans in wiping my tears away, cuffing my face with his hands and looks deeply into my eyes

"I'm sorry" He whispers, his sincere words full of promise. He moves his hands onto my mine as desire moves through my body, my attraction for this man overcomes me as I leap towards him kissing him passionately as Christian deepens this steamy connection. He eventually moves, nuzzling his nose behind my ear, breathing deeply.

"Let's go to bed" he softly murmurs in only a way I could describe as promising and with that I give in knowing that nothing has been resolved…. Right now I want my husband.

"Okay" I whisper bitting my lip

With that Christian pulls me into his arms as he carries me towards our bedroom.

We falls back on the bed, as I move to straddle him. He pulls me close kissing the corners of my lips while slowly pulling my shirt off I moan as his hands run up my torso, I miss the feelings this man gives me. I sit up unbuttoning his crisp white shirt with my blunt fingers aroused by the smoky grey eyes that peer up at me. With his shirt off I rub my hands over his chiselled abdomen knowing now that it does not affect him as it once did, He moans pushing his growing erection into me.

Christian rolls me over taking extra precaution of Blip and within seconds rips my pants off, he plants soft, wet kisses trailing from the instep of my foot up to my collar bone which sends tingles through-out my body. He pulls down my bra, allowing the underwire to lift my sensitive breast as his mouth encloses around my nipple all while his free hand begins kneading my breast I can feel that familiar pull in the depths of my body Oh my. He slowly moves his hand down into the apex of my thigh sliding my panties to the side and slipping his finger in me I throw my head back as He moans with delight

"You're always so ready for me Ana" he murmurs

"Please Christian, I need you" I beg, wanting him in me

He withdraws his finger as he spreads my legs while also freeing his erection in swift movements. He slowly sinks into me, the feeling nothing but exquisite I hear a smothered moan escape from his throat. He slowly moves, I adjust to his tempo as he starts to pick up the pace pushing me higher and further I feel it pooling within me.

"Come on, Ana" Christian shouts through gritted teeth, He pushes into me over and over again

"Let go, Ana" Christian murmurs,

As he says this I let go arching my back and scream out his name, the sensation overcomes my body. While freefalling back to earth I'm vaguely aware of Christian pushing himself deep inside of me and stilling. He moves his weight onto me as my limbs relax and my inner goddess lays sprawled out on her chaise lounge. I wince when he withdraws but we lay cuddling for what seems like hours, completely sated and happy with each other's company. I begin to drift off into a blissful dream.


End file.
